What a power outage in rural Paraguay taught me about modern connectivity.

It's 2022. We're connected 24/7 to the news, social media, push notifications, and a variety of messaging apps. We are so overwhelmed with knowledge, yet void of a slower, truer introspection.

We need time to "unplug", but at what moment did we "plug in"?

Flashback to October 2017.

I was serving as an Economic Development Specialist for the Peace Corps in rural Paraguay, when one day, the power went out in the mid morning. Thinking nothing of it, I continued along my day, working with the local Sports Commission and the Municipality planning the upcoming fútbol tournament.

I finished my work in the mid-afternoon, returning to a still-powerless house. And as the afternoon wore on, the shadows of the trees grew longer.

Having cooked all of the meat from my warming refrigerator, I ate alone in my little kitchen with just the casual bark of a dog and the continuous droning of the crickets and frogs. Motorcycles rode by once in a while.

The sun set and the sky inevitably darkened. "I am alone," I thought. The phrase felt more poignant than I had expected. "I am alone," I said again. Once more in my head, and once aloud.

The red sky faded to black, and I closed my windows, shutting out what little light I had, along with what little connection to the outside world I had.

The soft, quiet candlelight gave me a sense of calm. The dancing flame coupled with the utter disconnect from others suddenly illuminated what I had been quietly cultivating all along: my most central self. I asked out loud: "Who am I? What am I? Why am I?"

Suddenly, the darkness did not feel so benevolent. I grabbed my phone. It was dead. No Gmail pings. No Washington Post notifications. I put my phone down. I looked around me. I picked it up again. Still dead.

The shadows formed by the flickering candle danced on the wall, distorting my face and body. At the time, words would not form in my mind to describe how I felt.

What was it that I was feeling? A slow rising anxiety? Nervousness? Fear? Of what? Is this nameless emotion what drives me? Am I unique or is this feeling a factor of what it is to be human? Is there more I have not uncovered? Is there more I refuse to uncover? Is there more that I'm too scared to uncover?

Why am I so obsessed with this notion of understanding if I feel alone? What is it that I'm really asking? Or am I asking if I am happy?

The evening revealed to me my unconscious dependence to the technology around me. That night, I was the only one there to save me from my own thoughts. That I was forced to contend with greater questions than just the Google Alerts for "Jeff Wong" or the day's political drama.

Why are we here? What is the purpose of our time on this Earth?

These are the questions that we should be contending with on a daily basis, yet somehow we rise with technology and we go to bed with technology. Our modern connectivity, with all of its glorious 5G power, fails in its most important aspect.

It does not get us any closer to ourselves.

To developing what's inside of us.

Our identity.

Our philosophies.

Our central selves.

Since the power outage in rural Paraguay, I learned that we need a hiatus from technology if we ever want to move forward. That we may hold the reins to regain control of our lives through calendars, alarm clocks, and reminders, yet to become true charioteers, we let go of what is external and look inside.